Thursday, June 20, 2013

If I Married A Musician, I'd Kill Him

If I married a doctor, I know what he'd say
he'd look me in the eyes and tell me I could never sail away
My feet would always be cold on the mahogany floors 
and I'd lose my mind counting all the windows and doors
of our beautiful house

My mum always told me that love was blind
that I should stop paying rent
on apartments that ain't mine
I've tried, hey hey hey 

If I married an artist he would paint me the sky 
we'd run in our bare feet and he would never make me cry 
he would kiss, dance, and never lie
but that grass would always be greener 
on the other side,
on the other side 

My aunt always told me that love was blind
that I should stop paying rent
on apartments that ain't mine
I've tried, hey hey hey 

If I married a pilot I would be by his side
form London to Paris to New York, to Dubai
that would be a chance to see this world
but at the end of every day the sky
would be his girl,
would be his girl

I was always taught that love was blind
that I should stop paying rent
on apartments that ain't mine 
I've tried, hey hey hey hey.....

Monday, June 17, 2013

Good Girls Go To Heaven, Bad Girls Go Everywhere

I left in the morning for San Antone
two thousand miles from a happy home 
I don't know where to go 
I sat next to Satan on the 8 o clock train
he said "girl stop crying, I can heal your pain" 
I told him I, 
don't know where to hide

I broke all my promises 
all my solemnly swears
good girls go to heaven, 
bad girls go everywhere 
I did my lover wrong back in Tennessee 
I got no money in my pockets
and no man to miss me 

I took his hand cause I liked the sound
of his voice when he told me he could show me around
and now I've been out and down
I ran with him for 33 days
through smoke and fog in a summer haze
till he said hey, 
honey you can't stay 

I broke all my promises 
all my solemnly swears
good girls go to heaven, 
bad girls go everywhere
I did my lover wrong up in Santa Fe
I keep thinking about tomorrow 
cause I can't think today 

I sat next to Jesus on a red eyed flight 
I was bleary eyed in the middle of the night 
he said "friend, it's nice to see you again" 
He asked me how I was as I hid my eyes
he said "girl I don't wanna hear no stories or lies cause I know, 
how far you will go"

You broke all your promises all your solemnly swears
good girls to heaven, you bad girls go everywhere 
you did your lover wrong in the rolling his 
you thought you could keep living on cheap thrills 

Jesus said "girl go on home, you've been broke and I know 
where you've roamed, can't you see? I say come follow me"
How could I possibly say no? I followed him but I walked real slow
cause I was sure, 
I'd been there before

I broke all my promises
all my solemnly swears 
now I'm going to heaven 
cause I've been everywhere 
I did my lover wrong in the Texas plains 
now its come that time to find myself a new train 

yeah

Thursday, June 13, 2013

No Worries


I missed the foghorn blowing out my window
so I went and bought myself a water bed
to put in my apartment in New York City
objects don't make the body feel at home

so we built a celling that was made of glass
to watch the stars & moonlight shine
it was a bitch to clean
and it was loud when it rained
but god, it looked so pretty in the night

I still miss the fire burning in my wood stove
with the dogs & the cat sleeping peacefully
and the laundry that we hung on the clothes line
I forgot how good my mother looks in pink

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Expectations


Diving in sounds pretty nice
falling in sounds even better
thats the difference between
me and these people
who call themselves artists

I suppose it's filthy
how independent I am
watching people watch me
watching the people who ask me questions
watching the people who expect...
goddamn, they just expect everything
don't they?

If I could wash expectations
like the way I wash my hands
I believe I would be in a floating boat
not this capsized vessel

Expectations like sharp blades
no, rusty blades
strike into my thoughts
into my daily habits and routines

Expectations are a dangerous
game to play around with
if you begin to find yourself
falling or diving in 

My Mood, Swings


My mood swings

like when I was a little girl

even now I suppose

I still like to give underdogs

& land with my eyes closed


In fact it was just

the other day

my mood was swinging

so high so fast

that my head could not handle it


my legs gave out

I could no longer pump

& though I could not see their face

someone began pushing me


my mood still swings

Feel Your Future


don't buy the lie. act royal. no sitting. believe in dancing. dreams must sing. pull for fire. exit opportunity. sometimes we all feel wrong. join confusion. life. Is. excellent. warm up. think silent. remember yourself lost first. found wiser. end up pushed. nothing helpless is given. feel your future. confusion.
feel your future.

My Blood



I don't need an ocean breeze
atlantic winds rustle through my veins
my blood
 shimmers cold blues, sparkles soft greens

fishermen know me by name
while Poseidon knows me by voice
I only kiss under stormy gales
after salty sunsets, with poise

No need of a private beach house
equipped with a fancy speed boat
the coast line wraps around my presence
like a thick winter coat

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

You,


You,
could have killed a man
with the simplicity of your
bare hands

You,
could have retired in your boat
with the high tide of
atlantic sands

You,
could have stollen
rubies & diamonds
in the middle of
the night

You,
could have sent
an innocent man to jail
in a drunken
bar fight

You,
could have packed
your jeep and never
said goodbye

You,
could have tried
to control a plane
even though
you can't fly

You,
could have covered
everything you own
with ripe gasoline

You,
could have taken
all the prescription drugs
turn real real mean

You,
could have become
a scam artist
get rich quick

You,
could break
an honest woman's heart
make her unstable
make her sick

and You, did

unfortunately I find myself
not able to confront
a situation of that nature
without a roar

and thats why I don't call
or visit
You,
anymore

One I Could Love



I do not ponder thoughts of kings who will buy me flowers,

all though I know it is the thought that counts


for the boy who builds me a garden with his hands
is the one I will love with unearthly amounts

I do not wish for a prince to hold me close
all though it looks satisfying in movies on the tv,

I long for the boy who makes me wild,
while radiating convivial energies 

Laney on Life

I'm getting drunk
then planting myself a garden

If I Started Living Healthy, I'd Get So Sick I'd Probably Die.

the old woman breathes in the balmy harbor air of her 70th Memorial Day Weekend,
only to yell obscenities at the fat grey squirrel who occupies her bird feeder

through cuss words and hand gestures, 
the fat grey squirrel finds itself on the other side of the lawn,
while the old woman disappears--
only to reappear, 
with a package of chalky rolls and her cigarettes 

as she begins to carelessly toss decaying pieces of yeast 
around the almost green blades of summer,
I question her actions
she replies, Virginia Slim separating her pursed lips--
"maybe now they'll stay away from my goddamn bird feeder!"

I then analyze my thoughts...
maybe I'm the crazy one

Diamond Rings

I am content
with the way
the spring sun
beams wildly
down on the
rising sea

thousands
of sparkling
diamond eyes
flash their smiles
freely at me

though they can not give
I can easily receive
the moon determines
when our time
is done

I can't help
but wonder
why so many
women walk past
and wish so badly
for just one

Mondays & Fridays


nobody
really cares
about learning
not here
not yet

they just want
the grade
the average
the piece of paper

I look at
young people
who are so scared
scared
of a number
that they
forget to, don't care to
learn

forget to
understand
they just want

sublunary satisfaction
scares me

What I Want The Most


I want my eight year old sister to understand that the biggest things in life she will remember, are the things she can’t touch.

I want her to wake up in the morning, throw on a t-shirt, and with no make up on her face, look in the mirror and say “I look good today”

In six years I want her to be able to pick up a magazine and realize that the image of the person on the cover has been cropped, edited, shaded, tanned, thinned, and enhanced.

I then want her to look at our mom and tell her she is the most beautiful woman she has met, and will ever meet -because she is real.

I want her to prove her generation wrong by singing along to every Johnny Cash song she knows, and not being afraid to tell the insecure, popular girl that she doesn’t like Lil Wayne.

I want her to look at a sunset by herself without feeling sad or ugly because a boys arm is not wrapped around hers and I want her to be able to have a conversation with her best friend without worrying about updating her facebook status, or wondering who’s texting her.

I want her to look at the pretty new girl not with jealousy or insecurity, but with the thought of friendship and the question of “what can I learn from this individual?”

I want her to not feel embarrassed if she messes up on a speech she wrote for speech class because in the scheme of things, thats just a mark on her time line, and maybe a journal entry in her diary.

I want her to spend her money on experiences that she will always remember, not materialistic things that Cosmo Girl says she needs to have.

I want her to understand and respect art, teachers, and talent when she sees it and I want her to smile at strangers, even if they have there nose stuck up in the air.

I want her to never stop loving, never stop learning, and never stop caring.
I need her to know that it’s the little things. You can not go from A to C with out B.

I want her to prove cliches wrong but still be able to dance in the rain without caring if someone is watching.

I know she will understand compassion and that working hard will get her a long way in this life.

Lastly, I want her to know she has not one, but two big sisters who love her very much.

Zuzu Pearl on Life



as we stealth away from the dry adult party in the kitchen,
I come to a realization that the eight year must have it all figured out

I say, 
lets take a few chips into the living room

scowling, 
she picks up the entire bowl


Scribbling In Atlas's


for katherine

she could stab her car key into the bottom of any beer can
finish it in a time that made older guys want to bring her home

she knows how to win every card game in the book
her name is smeared on pong and die tables all over the state

she could hold her liquor in a way that
secretly every father hoped their daughter could

but nobody notices that around the hour of 3A.M
as she greedily pours out whatever substance is left in the fridge

of the passed out, yet carefree individual who
is probably just as confused as she is,

down the kitchen sink
and casually walks out the front door

--


before she left for this place
someone told her

you should always have another person with you
no matter where you go

she quickly realized
being alone is so safe, it's dangerous

she liked that
she spent most of her time alone

she never once coughed after taking rips off the cheap bongs
of boys who's mothers would cry if they were to find one under their bed back at home

she could roll joints tighter and fatter then every drop out she knew
better then any frat boy who tried to engage her in depthless conversations

she could taste the finest herb simply by looking at it
she could touch the grains of rock in a line and know exactly where they came from

she could not understand, however, how she became bored

not the type of bored your DARE program warns you about
with hospital visits and lamaze classes, but, 

the type of bored that arises in the morning of an april vacation day
when a little girl gazes past the pain of glass in her bedroom window

only to discover a wash of rain
and the little girl, the little girl wants so badly

so badly to dive right out, right out of her window
into the eye of the storm, into the pools that have formed under the gutters

her mother tells her she will catch a cold
little girls with freshly ironed spring dresses should not be playing in puddles

the little girl loves her mother
she does not rebel

she simply sits and wonders
what the rain would feel like

on her elbows and the back of her neck
as she ponders all the magnificent adventures she cold endure inside

she knows she will feel it someday
someday soon

not just against her elbows or the back of her neck
but her whole being

she stopped going to parties
she began scribbling in atlas's


A Love Poem For A Captain


First, Second, and Third mates will come and go as I please
Make me sad, make me happy, make me weak in the knees
And I'll keep on fishing, casting out for that thrill
Though none will be my captain, for the position is filled. 

Last night's phone call from an Asshole who still holds a very big place in my heart but I will never admit that because I am definitely the most stubborn young lady you will ever meet, and I'm growing up


If I could bash your head open
dive into your thoughts
.I don''t think I would
you & I both know my mother taught me better then that

You called me to tell me
the reason you don''t call me
anymore, is because
our conversations
are too
emotionally
draining
...ha

You thought I was crazy
there for a while
fuck you.
no, thank you
for making me
learn the hard way

Oh, how could I forget
You're so mature, so wise, so old
Oh,
And she,
she's so cool, so mature, so new
...ha
isn't it funny
like a bad 80's sitcom?
it's hilarious
no
you're hilarious

Monday March 5th 2012 9:31PM 2 Hours 26 Minutes 13 Seconds

Freshman Year Of Molding


I have Oscar Wilde pierced through my ears
I have Hemingway tied up in the laces of my shoes
my feet soak in cheap white wine weekly

I have Arizona canyons engraved on the back of my eyelids
I have Maya Angelou painted on my lips
Saraswati & Ganesha hold back my hair

I have maps, couches, routes under my finger nails
I have coconut oil dribbling down my throat
the two thousand thirteen lunar calendar replaced my mirror

I have Shakey Graves in my spine, Grateful Dead down my pants
I have all organic, non GMO thunder thighs
boys beg, I brush them onto my teeth

I have essential oils tattooed on my toes
I have guitar string flavored colors stitched in my rug
the Bhagavad-Gita coats my knuckles

I have NPR freckled on my cheeks
I have drunkenly even bangs, for free

I have mountains throwing festivals all over my hopes
I have mountains playing kickball with all of my dreams



Empty Headed


I feel empty headed
maybe like how a rock feels
when it is scattered
amongst other rocks
caging in wild flowers
and dandelions

sometimes I can't even think
maybe like when a sea bird
glides through open air and mist
not noticing the colors of the
buoys and boats and butterflies

I have no motivation
unlike the ants or badgers
when the sun decides to throw a party
I am first on the guest list
lemonade in hand
conversing with snakes and serpents 

Where I'm From


I am from the west wind salt
splashing against strands of sea grass
and freshly split wood under the blue tarp

I am from my mother's love, brought up
with the thick hands of my father's fight
and my grandmothers open heart

I am from the depths of the Atlantic
the warm surface of Sagadahoc Bay
I sit on a strand of pearls tied with
silver, gold, and rust

I am from the smiles of my sisters,
the smell of a Sunday evening rush
peppered with lobster, bleach, and a sunset

I am from the hymns of the church
the cuss words of the tired fisherman,
from the guitar strings of the boy with brown eyes
the temper of the current from hells gates

I am from the raisin apple pie and the voice of Johnny Cash
the phone numbers scribbled on the faded yellow lined paper
the simplicity of an early August evening